Monday, January 7, 2013
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.
By Mayo Clinic staff Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.What is forgiveness?
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?
When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.What are the effects of holding a grudge?
If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
- Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
- When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you
- Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Baby steps work best they say...
By
Dan Diamond
Just 8% of People Achieve Their New Year's Resolutions. Here's How They Do
I know I do.
Self-improvement, or at least the desire for it, is a shared American hobby. It’s why so many of us—some estimates say more than 40% of Americans—make New Year’s resolutions. (For comparison, about one-third of Americans watch the Super Bowl.)
But for all the good intentions, only a tiny fraction of us keep our resolutions; University of Scranton research suggests that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals.
Why do so many people fail at goal-setting, and what are the secrets behind those who succeed? The explosion of studies into how the brain works has more experts attempting to explain the science behind why we make resolutions—and more relevantly, how we can keep them.
Keep it Simple
Many people use the New Year as an opportunity to make large bucket lists or attempt extreme makeovers, whether personal or professional.
That’s a nice aspiration, experts say—but the average person has so many competing priorities that this type of approach is doomed to failure. Essentially, shooting for the moon can be so psychologically daunting, you end up failing to launch in the first place.
So “this year, I’m keeping my resolution list short,” says Chris Berdik, a science journalist and the author of “Mind Over Mind. “I think my earlier laundry lists made it easier to abandon.”
And it’s more sensible to set “small, attainable goals throughout the year, rather than a singular, overwhelming goal,” according to psychologist Lynn Bufka. “Remember, it is not the extent of the change that matters, but rather the act of recognizing that lifestyle change is important and working toward it, one step at a time,” Bufka adds.
Make it Tangible
Setting ambitious resolutions can be fun and inspiring, but the difficulty in achieving them means that your elation can quickly give way to frustration. That’s why goals should be bounded by rational, achievable metrics.
“A resolution to lose some weight is not that easy to follow,” notes Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist.
“It is much easier to follow a plan that says no potato chips, fries, or ice cream for six weeks.”
And be specific. Don’t say you’re “going to start going to the gym” in 2013—set a clear ambition, like attending a weekly spin class or lifting weights every Tuesday or Thursday.
“We say if you can’t measure it, it’s not a very good resolution because vague goals beget vague resolutions,” says John Norcross of the University of Scranton.
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Happy New Year to all my beloved friends and family!
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| May the Lord greatly bless you all through out the New Year! |
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Happy Birthday Jesus!
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| Wishing all our friends a wonderful and blessed Celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus! |
Sunday, December 23, 2012
The real reason for Christmas is...
of the year it is so easy to get caught up in all the festivities and craziness. All that is well and good but in my humble opinion, I believe that Christmas would be even more beautiful if we spent more time focusing on the true meaning of Christmas....Jesus, the Son of God!
Most of us put a lot of thought into the
gifts that we will give to our family and friends but how often do we ask ourselves,
"hmm, what should I give Jesus today!"
Or, "I wonder what His favorite color is?" If we are truly honest with ourselves I am pretty sure most would not be able to say that we ask ourselves that question or similar questions at Christmas.
I am not proud to admit that I used to be one of those people until one Christmas day not too long ago.
Like pretty much everyone else, I love Christmas, I love
the music, I love the beautiful colored lights, and most of all, I love
the "comfort and joy" that seems to permeate the very air we breathe through out the entire Christmas season. Everyone seems to be in love with life and all the beauty that is Christmas!
On that particular Christmas, I started to think about what I DON'T....................................................................................
like about Christmas...I don't like all the temptation that comes
disguised as cookies, and cakes, and all the other "holiday" foods.
That brings me to another thing I don't like about Christmas, it's the
very word "holiday". It really isn't the word itself, it's more about
the fact that the word "holiday" is now supposed to replace
words one associates with the season such as "Merry Christmas,"
and "Jesus Birthday."
So now every where you go this time of year you may hear,
"Happy Holidays" and "It isn't really Jesus birthday, anyway!"
Well in my opinion, if it isn't Jesus birthday, then let's cancel
Christmas! yes cancel Christmas, instead of canceling Jesus
the true meaning of Christmas. Come on, we know that Jesus
wasn't really born on Christmas day, but if one IS going to
celebrate it, then it should be celebrated in His name.
So, it would be safe(and of foremost importance) to
give God the glory and praise for sending His precious son to
be born as a man so that we all could be delivered from the curse of sin and death and have the abundant life He promised. That is
the real meaning of Christmas.
During this time of year, perhaps the best gift we can give
anyone is the gift of time! There are many people who are lonely, and depressed, and truly alone. Perhaps some of them may feel or be that way all th
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